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How often do you see your timelessness embodied in another human




You ask yourself ‘how much is it worth’ and you know you’ll never have an answer

Isolating myself from any other thought


This is my loyalty to you

In leaving everything to be with you

And loving myself more for loving you so deeply,

Dear God, please let me have Gidi
I will love him with all my heart and relieve you off all your duties

The sacred in my everyday


and in all of my prayers

The reason I prefer keeping to myself

If each dot on my painting contained a world within itself,


maybe that’s how much I love you

I feel most alive when you resonate within

I really love you and my happiest times I find myself wanting to share with you

You’re so sweet and gentle, how can anyone not be in love with you?

I will try to love everyone like they’re you

A deep deep sigh of relief


and also a savor of longing,

I feel your presence in this room

   as bodies dancing in unison

  but farther beyond


   and deeper within

      closer to me by one more reality

I let it permeate my being

There is solace in having found you



And fear that time will let this fade

To only love    and watch the rest unfold

Each bit I have so long accumulated


all that I wanted to be,

I see you and feel my atoms dissipating

The liberation I have so long longed for

You are the closest I have come to god

always just faith away

The problem is, I really do see you as me.

Your love for homegrown peas

And capacity to savor in your own angst

The sweetness in your body’s arousal as it recognizes mine from memory

Your skin, too pristine for perfuming and your door without a bell

The bell  that became necessary for new occupants of your home

   Futile bus ventures to Jersey    that I make for myself

                                            Always a two-way ticket


 Ascending toward my moon, 

on pavements of a quaint neighborhood

The tests I keep putting myself through to win you

The days I spend crying


and admiring its beauty

sorrow feels wholesome

but everybody only wants to save me

It is not the look of sympathy on their face but in their inability to understand





































If they truly understood, they wouldn’t change a thing

In letting you control how I feel

Already surrendered to you,


there’s nowhere else to go


























There’s nothing you can do that isn’t short of perfect

even letting go

He is like  me as  I  am  like him


            resistant to altering circumstances

In time  we trust

The disappointment in making myself believe that it was always only me.

To love it

For what it is





                    but what is it?

'Don’t question your love’

“I’d like to be someone’s dream too”

He teaches me to receive love,




And that you are irreplaceable.

The hierarchies I create are troubling

If I had a choice to love the whole world as you I would still choose just you

Maybe my freedom lies in not choosing  you









































Letting go of the idea that I can’t not not have you



































How do you decide when to stop?














































































Your absence feels so good,

What will your presence be?





























































































If I can’t have you  let me become you

Im just drunk on the idea that its forever - that’s all there is

I have all the answers and they ask me to trust 
















as if each moment were conspiring,

The folds of your skin when you smile,

and how you curl up to yourself in snuggly cuddly puppy love










































“Mumma, he’s shooo cuteeeeeee”













                                                                                                                                   You know me like no one has ever

I’ve waited so long

I’ll wait some more



































Love that challenges patience and faith


and is rewarded each time with expansiveness within


















































this isn’t just about me

















































































When time and distance stop playing their part

































































Loving was never painful     giving up is.












































































I was never a forgetful person, nothing was just as sweet as memories of you

Why do I crave for us   isn’t it enough to relish in your existence


What is left to do    if it is me who awards heartache it’s virtuosity






































Me at your door

The doors you said were always open













































No longer the protagonist of my life

My first and last thought before bed,

and some more in between

             my playlists and paintings.

As a sensibility in my visual perceptions

In memories from past
And yearnings for the future

In intention and intuition,

Eternal and celestial.


















I now see the relevance of each moment

that forsook itself

To give context to a bigger story





























This isn’t just an art project.




























There’s no scope for no hope









































I wanted all of you for all of time   and I think I’ve found my way through












































I was never here,

Always with my lover

Now that we’re together

  I can be here with him
































one who belongs to Ether


  What am I   if not belonging to him







































I will much rather dance in this longing

Always expanding, never concluding

















































































Expeditious gratification of piled desires     so I can come to you empty

                                                and live.


















































“I wish I was Gidi”



to which I asked, would you rather love  or  be loved like this?












































They are all you




little fragments of you.

If there’s no you it doesn’t matter where I go or what I do

   Once there is you,

   It wouldn’t matter where we go and and what we do































































































The dust that glows like fireflies and flares as firecrackers

falls on my face as snow when I’m in love with you,































































































Every other  falls short of you,

fulfilling only in service to you































































































Are you the harvest of my dreams or I  of  yours

We live here

exist somewhere else

Each awaits the other   nothing moves

And if you left again ill begin again






































































































For what is time   but a measure of my longing















































































































































































Separation   but a pleasure of my love















































































And the distance between; but tiny atoms of ambiguity of you  or  I


Immortality   but a space to share our love


























































And my philosophy, but a joke to laugh with you.